I took a hiatus from social media for a couple of weeks. I was starting to feel overwhelmed and pressured to show up in a way I didn’t feel I wanted. My kids started their summer break and I didn’t want them to feel like I was constantly on my phone. Previously I have gone on hiatus and deleted Instagram, I didn’t do that this time so I have kind of been cheating. But it gave me a break from feeling I have to post, and considering what I want to post.

Session 3 of Hypnobirthing ends with a Fear Release exercise, it is my favorite HB script. At the end of this exercise we reclaim our power. Every time I read that script I imagine that I reclaim my power as well, just like the parents to be in my class. The energy in the room after that exercise is always very powerful. 

“I’m taking back the power that I relinquished to you. I know I am fully capable of calling upon my own inner power and strength to ensure my own wellbeing. I know I am an integral part of this wonderful universe, and I have within my the ability to reclaim and use all the power I gave to others.”

Here I will cover some of the most common hospital routines when it comes to giving birth in Sweden. If you are currently pregnant or plan to get pregnant and give birth in Sweden, then this is the post for you!

Firstly I want to remind you that healthcare is optional in Sweden and you are entitled, by law, to make informed decisions when dealing with health care. All health care in Sweden is offered to you and you can choose to opt out of some options if you so please. 

Lately I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be raising boys, not only as a single mother, but also in general. I think there’s a certain awareness needed to raise boys that will become men. As we live in a world with a lot of men who struggle with dealing with emotions, I think one of the most important things is to teach them how to understand and express their emotions. I’m very physically close to my children; lots of hugs and kisses, lots of cuddles. I can’t remember where I heard this, but “hug your children until they pull away” is something I live by. Sometimes they need a long silent hug, sometimes they need a quick hug.

I created a course to prep for breastfeeding I think over a year ago, but I didn’t get many sign ups in person. Then I decided I need to move it online, to make it mor accessible. But the interest has been quite mellow. I think this is because people that have never breastfed don’t understand how good it can be to come prepared for this journey. To prepare for birth is something many understand and choose to do, but breastfeeding? That’s just natural, right? Wrong!

Over the years I’ve been told countless times “You have so much patience.” Sometimes the person saying it is surprised, sometimes they say it like it’s this incredible thing I do. I don’t know when people started saying I was patient, maybe the last ten years or so? But I think I wasn’t always patient. I think it’s something that has developed through the situations I’ve been in. 

If you have followed me on Instagram, YouTube or read the blog for a while you know there have been some inconsistencies in how active I have been. The first thing that gets put on pause is YouTube because it is incredibly time consuming to edit a video and I have to be in a good mental space to show up on camera. The next thing to go is the blog. The last thing is IG.

Because I am a product of an interracial relationship people have assumed my entire life that I’m some kind of poster child for this. That of course I’m going to grab a set of pompoms and cheer every time I see an interracial relationship or a biracial child. I don’t. And I have stopped feeling guilty (because people put this pressure on me in regards to this so I started feeling guilty when I couldn’t be that cheerleader) for not thinking interracial relationships are the thing that will end racism and bring about world peace. I know very few interracial relationships that are healthy.

Hypnobirthing Unit 4: Overview & Summary of Childbirth

Hypnobrithing Unit 5: Birthing - The final act & bonding

The last two sessions of Hypnobirthing go through the birth from surges to the birth of the placenta. In the lest session some time is dedicated to the 4th trimester and breastfeeding. We continue to work on our visualizations and deep relaxation practises, but I would say these sessions are very much focused on creating a solid knowledge base that makes the person giving birth and their support person feel safe and secure. Unit 4 has a section that highlights the birth companion’s role and gives specific tips on what to do. B.R.A.I.N.S. is also introduced here.

It’s interesting to think about words and how we used them. A while back I was at the library with my boys and I overheard two moms with their babies talking about breastfeeding and how to stop. “When she started eating food she kind of stopped breastfeeding.” One of the women said.

Food. Yes, that’s a very common thing to say. Sometimes it feels like we don’t count breast milk as food. I know I’m guilty of using words like that. A mom who’s baby needs formula for medical reasons and is also breastfed may hear: “Okay, he has nursed for 15 minutes, I will go get the food.” What is that telling the mom? “Your milk is not good enough.” Of course this isn’t done intentionally or with mal intent. But it’s worth to think about. Babies don’t go from breastfeeding to eating food. They have been eating food all along.

My third birth was different in many ways from my previous two. It was the first pregnancy I went through with a partner by my side from day one. I had done my first two pregnancies alone, even though during my second pregnancy I was in a relationship with the father of my boys but he was still abroad until a week before my due date. 

My favorite Hypnobirthing session may be unit 3. In this unit we do a lot of deepenings. It’s like this session takes it up another level. The scripts are longer, there are more visualisations, more time to practice to go in and out of a deeply relaxed state.

Last night I was a part of an event hosted by Najell for pregnant people here in Malmö. Bethany who I known since I was pregnant with my seven year old was who suggested I be a part of this event. I didn’t know what to expect, but I like trying new things.

Before I had a c-section birth myself I think my idea of c-section births was quite disrespectful. I didn’t fully understand why they happened and how many emotions they could stir up postnatally. I had worked in the delivery ward as an assistant nurse and I had worked as a nurse in the neonatal ward, I had attended many c-sections. Some very dramatic ones and others not very dramatic. 

I first shared this birth story on my Instagram over a year ago. I decided to remove it and post it here instead. I wish I could have brought the comments with me to this blog post, but I could not. Thank you for reading it! I have also edited the post a bit since then.

On March 4th I started another Hypnobirthing group course at Ayurvediskt center. It’s the first course in person of the year so I was very excited. I love teaching Hypnobirthing and learn something new each course. I love the groups that are super engaged and ask a lot of questions. The first session is always a bit more quiet, but over the five weeks we spend together the most groups open up and share so much of themselves.

I kind of went on an unplanned break from the blog in February as my kids and I went on vacation to Cape Town. The best way to get through winter is to take a break from it and experience summer. We did a lot, had great weather and a great time. We saw friends and family, did touristy things and spent time together. I love spending time with my kids (even though half was though I thought I had enough, but then it got easier again). I think if I was married to someone with a good income I would have home schooled my children (not in Sweden though, it’ illegal). I love my kids’ personalities and watching them grow into these great humans. I hope when I’m dead and gone they will think back to all the fun things we have done together and appreciate that their mom wanted to be with them. 

I’ve been told I’m strong many, many times in my life. It used to be something I strived for. I wanted to be strong, independent and get things done by myself. And I did, I faced a lot of struggles and problems by myself, I figured a lot of things out by myself and I’ve carried a lot of furniture up and down stairs on my own. 

In a therapy session recently I said to my therapist “I don’t  feel like I’m progressing.” And she looked at me and said “But you are progressing.”

That sent me back to a memory of attending births. How many times have I not supported someone through labor who says “Nothing is happening!” Or “This baby is never coming!” And with certainty I always say: “The baby is coming.” Because pregnancies always end with the baby coming out, sooner or later, in one way or the other. 

A while back I put together a video on my YouTube channel answering some of my most common questions about Hypnobirthing.

In the video you will get these questions answered:

• What is Hypnobirthing?

• When should you take a course/start? 

• Do you have to bring a support person to class? 

• Do Midwives in the delivery ward know about Hypnobirthing? 

• Can you use Hypnobirthing regardless of the birth you have? 

• Do you have to be pregnant with your first child? 

• I am at the end of pregnancy, is it too late to start?