working in the system
So many times over the past two years people have questioned why I don’t work in the delivery ward any more as I obviously love it. It’s not a simple answer, but it’s a conscious choice. During my time as a nurse I found myself working in a way that was not always aligned with my ethics and the quality of care I want to give. I decided when I became a Midwife that I would choose to work in spaces where I could be proud of the care I give. Unfortunately there is a system in Sweden that is functioning but not excelling, and that is our delivery wards all over the country. Some work better than others. Every year there are articles in the news about midwife shortages, delivery wards struggling in summer, midwives leaving the profession, etc., etc. This is nothing new, it has been going on for years.
I worked in the postnatal ward for years before I became a Midwife, I heard countless of my colleagues say that they left birth because of things that are ultimately issues that have to do with the system. They couldn’t deal with shift after shift running from room to room, never being able to be fully present with anyone, or even having time to pee during an eight or ten hour shift. You can have a shift or two like that once in a while, but when your work situation is like that every shift you are constantly stressed out and it tears you down over time. It takes the joy out of work, you are constantly just trying to survive and keep everyone alive, let alone make sure the people you are caring for have a good experience. When there is no time to give there is no quality to give.
I have previously been burnt out so I know what it’s like to constantly be stressed and I make conscious effort never having to experience that again. When I did my practical placement in the delivery ward as a Midwifery student I quickly realized that I couldn’t work that way. It got to the point that I decided never to work with birth, just to get through my education and find a different way of being a Midwife. I became a Midwife to attend births, but I decided the sacrifice would not be worth it. But life has a funny way of showing you the path you belong on. I told my friend who then worked in Ystad that I wasn’t going to work in birth because of what I was experiencing as a student, she said “Come to Ystad with me for a shift.” And I did, I am so glad I did. And then there was birth number 25 (you need to attend at least 50 births to become a Midwife) which changed everything for me. It was one birth I will always remember, it shifted how I felt about birth and my role in the room.
“A system cannot fail those it was never built to protect.”
This quote refers to systematic racism, but I think it is also true for our systems around birth. These systems were never built for the pregnant people it is said to be for, it is built within a health care system that sees humans as numbers and diagnose codes. If the system in which we give birth in was built for people giving birth it would be completely different than what we have today.
Would I love to work with birth again? Yes. And when the opportunity to do so in a way that works with my life and how I want to attend births I will. I would love to return to Ystad because the variety there is perfect for me. Delivery ward, postnatal ward and light neonatal care in one space. So each shift is different, and very dynamic. But until then I will work in the postnatal ward offering my support and knowledge there. Until the system changes, because I believe it will. I can see slow changes at the hospital I work at, many for the better. There are so many amazing Midwives that can handle the system, that stand up for the people they care for and are changing from the inside.
