Patience

Over the years I’ve been told countless times “You have so much patience.” Sometimes the person saying it is surprised, sometimes they say it like it’s this incredible thing I do. I don’t know when people started saying I was patient, maybe the last ten years or so? But I think I wasn’t always patient. I think it’s something that has developed through the situations I’ve been in. 

Being a mom you need to be patient. There are so many situations that I can think of that motherhood has tested my patience. From breastfeeding to my daughter taking 15 min to put on her overalls each morning when she was five to my son saying he’s bored a second after he stopped playing. Countless fights, disagreements, things being thrown, doors slammed, the list is long. My children test my patience constantly. And some days I am on red and loose it because I have run out. But most days I can take a deep breath and center myself. 

Working with people forces you to bring out your most patient self as well. I have learned a lot about how patient I can be by working with people. Some people have really tested my patience. Like the new parents that take 15 mins to change their newborn’s diaper and want me to stand in the background to make sure they do it right. Or the partners that is in a corner scrolling on their phone when their partner is in labor. I bite my tongue, take a deep breath and carry on. 

“Have patience with all things, but first of all with yourself.”

The one person I’m not very patient with is myself. Even though this has gotten better in time. I tend to want to move things along for myself quickly, get frustrated when I don’t understand things or can figure things out. Last year was tough and I kept getting reminded by my therapist that it will take time and I’m moving forward even when I can’t see it. 

I read a lot of self help books and what they all say in one way or another is “be kind to yourself” or “speak to yourself as you would to others”. I know I’m my own worst critic, and I’ve gotten better at calling myself out. 

So when someone says I’m patient I still have to wonder why they think so. I still feel like I’m working on my patience and it’s being tested a lot.