“I am looking for a black Doula.” Is something I have been told several times over the last couple of years. As the stats from countries like the UK and the USA show us that being Black and giving birth comes with an array of risks that doesn't affect their non-Black counterparts. In the UK theres a 3-4 fold risk of dying in connections to pregnancy if you are black. These numbers are jarring. We don't have the same stats in Sweden, luckily. Our maternal death rate is low, but we are also a very small population. We however can see in our stats that being born in  Sub-Saharan Africa poses increased risks for negative perinatal outcomes. I will write more in depth about this another time. But the reason I mention this is because what do these people have in common? Being Black. 

I was reading Emilia Bergmark-Jimenez’s book (if you haven’t seen it, get it!) where she wrote about the first birth she attended. It made me think of the first birth I attended and how it’s still so clear in my memory. One of my then very close friends had found out she was pregnant and was embarking on her journey into parenthood alone, just as I had almost two years earlier. I’m not sure how or when we decided I would support her through birth, but we did. Back then I was not a Midwife or a Doula, I was just a mom with one child who during my own pregnancy had read a lot of pregnancy books and decided I wanted to become a Midwife in the future.  

The other night at work I was trying to explain to my coworker who is a Nurse how there’s a hierarchy that exists among Midwives. I first worked with Midwives in 2010 when I was studying to become a Nurse and spent one summer as an assistant Nurse in the Delivery ward. I remember how I noticed it back then already. The Midwives in the Delivery ward had a certain focus: anything and everything that happened during birth. Once the baby was out and the adrenaline of those first moments started to wear off they seemed to disengage. They left us assistant Nurses to help out with breastfeeding, something I had zero training to do. And when it didn’t work they just shrugged and said “They will have to figure that out in the Postnatal ward.” This is when I decided that when I become a Midwife I want to be knowledgeable in breastfeeding and took a specific course in this when I was done with my Nursing studies.

Lately I have been thinking about the differences of being a Midwife compared to a Doula and how they overlap. I have made a video where I talk about this on my YouTube channel as well. Not everyone knows what the differences are.

BB Gårda is currently Sweden’s only birth center. In Sweden the choices to where you gave birth are quite limited. Almost all births occur in hospital because that is, in most places, the only government funded option. The a very few give birth at home with the support of midwives that the birthing couple will have to pay themselves. Barnmosketeamet in Gothenburg have been supporting home births for a long time. Now they have opened the only birth center in Sweden.

After our last Hypnobirthing session one of the couples stayed behind and chatted for a bit. They said that from the three sessions they had attended they could already feel a shift in themselves. There was less fear connected to birth, they felt more ready and empowered. I was so happy to hear that the course is making such an impact on them. I said that I really feel like my last birth (I will share this birth story in the future) really empowered me because I was supported by a midwife that listened to her instincts and didn’t just follow protocol. Her empowering me at my son’s birth showed me how things can be done. It changed how I see my role as a midwife and it made me more brave as a new midwife, because I knew there are several ways to do things. 

Over the years, ever since I became a mom myself, the most commonly asked question I received has been about the birth preferences, or "Förlossningsbrev" as it is called in Swedish.

The questions have ranged from what to include and how long it should be or if the hospital staff actually takes time to read it. I have shared my own “Birth preferences” document with friends and friends of friends. And this was where the idea for this E-book was born.

On Sept 2nd I started the Master’s Programme in reproductive and perinatal health at the University of Gothenburg. It’s a 1 year part time programme, so I will be done in May.

When you find yourself pregnant in Sweden you should contact a prenatal care facility to get in touch with a Midwife. In Sweden all prenatal care is the responsibility of a midwife. If complications arise during pregnancy the Midwife will refer you to the proper care facility or person for further care. 

The number of times you will meet your Midwife during pregnancy may differ depending on where in Sweden you live but also on your individual needs. 

Your first meeting with your Midwife will be as early as possible during pregnancy. This check up is based on giving you tools to be and remain healthy during pregnancy. This will include topics as diet, exercise and overall health. This appointment will usually be early in your first trimester. 

When I meet new people it usually doesn’t take long for them to find out what I work as. Sometimes the person introducing me leads with this, other times the person I meet asks and at times I bring it up. There’s something about being a Midwife that excites people. I think part of it is that it’s a profession that most people have some level av understanding of what it means, it’s not an abstract profession.

Late last year I started feeling that it felt a little odd to just say bye and wave off my course attendees empty handed so I decided that a goal for 2024 would be to give them a goody bag as a good bye gift. I started reaching out to local companies that make products that I believe in and want to support, as well as that I believe are useful for my group attendees. This group got a packed goody bag, I will list the products below and share the links.

For most of my adult life I have made a conscious decision to say yes to things that are outside my comfort zone. It’s been things like doing photo shoots for different companies, speaking in public or walking over a long wooden bridge (I have a fear of deep water). I think in doing these things I push myself to grow. So now after having done photo shoots sporadically for almost ten years I feel more comfortable in front of the camera. The latest shoot I was actually in a bathing suit which is something I never thought I would do. But part of it was because it was with photographer Rebecca Gustafsson who I love working with and trust fully.

Who you choose to bring as a support person for your birth is a personal choice, for some it is the other parent or partner, for some it's a friend or sibling for others it's a Doula. If you choose to bring someone who is not a trained birth worker, send them this video! Here are my tips on how to be the best support person as possible. 

For most of my career in health care I have worked night shift. Work 3-4 nights, off 5-7 days. It has given me a lot of time with my family as well as worked with my personal rhythm, I’ve always been a night owl. But lately the charm of night shift has started to fade. I don’t enjoy sleeping during the day as much and if I wake up I can’t go back to sleep. With a puppy in the house that means I sleep around 4 hours during the days I’m working. I need around 6 to feel like myself. 

For around 40 weeks all your baby has known is the safety and security of life inside your womb. For months they have been growing more and more each day as they have developed. Their whole body has been surrounded by amniotic fluid, at the perfect temperature so baby never feels too cold or too hot. They have received all their nutrients and oxygen from the placenta via the umbilical cord. They have gotten used to the sounds of your body, your heart beating and your food being digested in your intestines. All the sounds from the outside world have been muffled as the sound has to pass through body tissues and water to get to their ears. And then one day something changes, they are squeezed together in a new way, maybe the water suddenly disappears and they start moving through a very tight space until they are born. For the first time they feel the cold air hit their skin, they feel bright lights in their eyes and they start to breathe for the first time. Their skin touches yours for the first time, and they hear the familiar sound of your heart beat again. 

I decided to take a social media break in part of July. I felt overworked, overwhelmed and depleted. I didn't plan to take a break from the blog, it kinda just happened. As I prepared to schedule posts for July I just felt that my energy was way too low to be able to do that. So I decided to be kind to myself and not push myself to do more than I needed.

Postpartum is such an important part of becoming a parent, but doesn’t get a lot of focus. Maria Borda & Opokua Britton Cavaco have written a beautiful book in Swedish about postpartum. They look at the traditions linked to postpartum in Sweden, and lack thereof, as well as what postpartum looks like in other places of the world.

As I started to talk to people around me about having a dog the most common comment was “It’s going to be hard.” Or “It’s a lot of work.” Like I somehow blindly went into dog ownership. It was clear these people didn’t know me well. I have had dogs in my life before, even though I never had my own. I have also spent a gazillion hours watching Cesar Milan and that British dog trainer Victoria on TV and YouTube. I know a dog needs structure, commitment and is a lot of work. But why did people feel a constant need of reminding me of this?

So much of parenting is just like this: doing everything but expecting nothing. It’s what our parents did for us to some extent and now we pay it forward. The love is not in the “I love you” that you tell your kids, it’s in how you show up, both how you are present and how you sacrifice for them. They are young for a short period of their lives and then they grow up, fly the coop and may not need you anymore. So it’s worth showing up now, loving them now, pouring in to them now. This is what will make them good humans once they venture out into the world.

In part one I covered what kind of different c-sections that exist and what different routines can be a part of having a c-section birth in Sweden. When I edited that video I realized what was missing was information on what happens post surgery, so I wanted to share this in general terms.